Dalai Lama Foundation Study Circle Montreal

After my second month of joining this great group of individuals, I sat down with a couple of the organizers, to get to know one and other better. What I assumed would be a lighthearted getting to know one and other session, became an a heartfelt discussion with presence.

It felt like a therapy session. I poured my heart and soul into my confusions and challenges with figuring out my next steps with life and they listened and communicated so openly. They felt like long lost elder brothers giving me guidance.

While one of them was leaving, he gave me a bag of these delicious cookies and told me I need to give them out. Later on, the other one provided me with these cards that say “Smile. You’ve just been tagged!”

***

At around 12:30 AM Thursday morning, I began my expedition to give out cookies to strangers in NYC. I I first offered a cookie to the front desk security guard, he looked in the bag and took the biggest cookie he could find and said thank you. I thought well that’s the biggest cookie in the bag, that’s a bit selfish. Nonetheless, I smiled and was happy to give him a cookie.

Lesson 1: Mind = Autopilot. I noticed my mind is on autopilot! Even when I was trying to give out a bag of cookies, I was judging the receivers! Although, I was happy to give the cookie, I still had expectations: What cookie will they take? A big one? A small one? A couple? How will they respond? With gratitude? Indifference? Skepticism?

I offered another cookie to this woman standing at the desk, she declined by saying “I don’t eat cookies, but thank you.” I smiled and laughed in my head.

Lesson 2: Not Everyone Wants Cookies (Rejection). I had a feeling some people would think it was odd that a random man was giving them cookies. Here were my assumptions of other people: They would think I put ruffis in the cookies. They would think there was a catch. Women would think I was hitting on them. At the end of the day, everyone had a different view of receiving a cookie — no one view was more correct than the other.

Lesson 3: Persistence. During my cab ride home, I offered the driver a cookie. He declined. I offered again. He declined. I offered again. He declined. I offered again. He accepted and said, “thank you, thank you very much, thank you very much, Sir.” I am not sure why I was so persistent, but I had a feeling he wanted a cookie but was being really kind.

The next morning, I had a bag of at least 15 cookies left. I thought to myself, how am I going to get rid of these cookies. For some reason I started the morning thinking it might be difficult to give away cookies.

I gave one out to a lady picking oranges from the grocery store. She was glowing and excited. I was glowing.

I got to the 1 station at 23rd and 7th, I offered one to the station agent. He started laughing and smiling from ear-to-ear, but he declined. I felt amazing. I had made someone smile and laugh.

I began offering cookies to people on the uptown subway. I got some strange looks, a couple rejections and a couple laughs and smiles. I felt amazing.

I gave some out at an acting studio in midtown. The actors could not have been happier.

Lesson 4: Confidence. Giving away cookies, gave me confidence. Every time I would try to give a cookie, I would be scared of being rejected. But, the interesting thing was that every time I gave a cookie — whether accepted or not — I received something different: a laugh, a feeling of happiness, a sense of friendship with strangers and confidence to give more.

Lesson 5: The more I give, the happier I will be? I think so

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She was to get married to her fiance in the near future and according to their custom the bride had to wear a valuable, colorful saree with gold accessories. In addition, she had to give away 12 sarees plus matching jackets. This all would cost her a lot.

Seeing how my parents had helped the people who worked for us when we were kids, a flash of lightning struck me. I though if we don’t help her, who would? A couple of months passed by and her mind was only on the "big" problem and in another four months she would have to get married, only with the six months salary she had collected from us.

Now it was only three months before her marriage. I had resigned from my office some months back. All accounts had been settled yet a letter arrived from my former office and I was wondering what it was. Low and behold, it was a check for a substantial sum with a letter of apology saying there had been a miscalculation, hence, this check. The sum was enough to fulfill the girl’s wedding wish.

After having lunch, my mother’s attendent returned to help my mother and I told her that she did not need to worry at all because her needs would be met in addition to her six months salary bonus. She just couldn’t fathom what was going on. Her facial expression was amazing.

She was laughing and crying at the same moment. Her eyes were sparkling. When I took her shopping, she spent a few hours choosing her bridal saree and the other twelve sarees. From a part of her salary she bought good clothes for her parents and her grandmother. For the gold accessories, her aunt had wanted to help by taking the girl to their jewelry shop. So, with great happiness I donated the complete balance.

At the end of the month her parents came to collect her. The whole family left with broad smiles. The wedding was held and the following year we received a telephone call to inform us that she had become a mother. She had just given birth to a baby girl.

I was full of smiles then and now when I think back.

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Smile Cards: do an act of kindness and leave a card behind to keep the chain going.

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